It was early April and I was unaccustomed to the springtime chill in the night air after the sweaty heat of India. And the quiet was almost stifling. No loud rumbling engines or honking rickshaws through streets - this city actually sleeps after midnight (on a Monday, anyway). Even the stray cats were dreaming, curled up in nooks on the pavement or corners of street-level windows. They raised a weary head to glare at me as I passed. I couldn't help breathing a sigh of relief to leave India, but I recognized that I would need a period of processing before I could accurately convey and understand my feelings about the bizarre and wonderful country. Especially when I had new fears and challenges to face. I turned down Gill's street I felt a wave of insecurity. Would I be a burden on Gill's wonderful hospitality and the social network she worked hard to establish? Would I make any friends? Would I find a job?
As I stumbled up the stairs to Gill's "treehouse" apartment, my worries subsided. And they continued to diminish as the days wore on. She gave me an enthusiastic squeeze and a quick introduction to the apartment as I walked in the door before I shoo-ed her back to bed. A working girl needs her beauty sleep. I curled up on the sofa for a snooze. A couple of days later, when we finally had an opportunity to have a sit-down-catch-up, I was honest with Gill. If she wanted me to clear out and find my own apartment, I would. I urged her not to feel pressure to invite me out and invade her social life.
It was quickly established that we both wanted to move in together. Not only would it ease the burden of rent, but we would also have the comfort of each others presence in the flat. This was huge for me, as living alone last summer in Boston was at times depressing and lonely. I love having another person's presence, even if it's just their shoes in the kitchen and dirty dishes in the sink. And we had to have a place for infamous Bean & Bloom BBQs too!
As for my crash-landing into her social life, Gill treated me as a debutant inTurkish society, introducing me to her vast array of wonderful friends. The day after my arrival, I received an email with our plans for the remainder of the week. It read:
FYI also, plans so far for this week:
Any day except today – come up here and have lunch with my co-workers? Also Geoff wants to get lunch – waiting to hear from him which day is best
Tuesday – there’s an Internations party at Babylon, which could be interesting. Bablyon’s a great venue, but the drinks are expensive – I think it’s worth stopping by though, maybe a networking type thing...
Wednesday – probably taking it easy
Thursday – pub quiz which some of my friends go to – starts at 10, might have people over for a pregame
Friday – trivia night at the Marine house starts at 5:30, and definitely going out afterwards!
Saturday – PAWI dinner
Gill has established an incredible network, which includes the journalists she'd spent time with when she arrived in September and interned with CNN, her current work colleagues at Oxford Business Group, various English teachers that live in the area, as well as being a part of several ex-pat communities such as PAWI (Professional American Women of Istanbul) and InterNations. And she's picked up a few lovely strays she's along the way. I didn't want her to think I was stealing friends that she proactively stalked (please see Gill's blog) so I tagged along to most and tried to my own friends amongst them. Occasionally, I stayed in so that she could have her own space, even though I know it probably wasn't necessary (and yes, I'll concede that much of my attempted lack-of-imposition was borne of sheer laziness).
I did make some wonderful friends and connections in my first month in Istanbul. As one of them quite rightly noted, "you are probably three months further ahead in the process than any other person in your situation." I recognize that for the most part I have Gill to thank for that. But the fact is, sitting around in coffee shops alone gets old and lonely pretty quickly and it provoked me to go and meet new people. I found a few Ladies and Gentlemen Of Leisure who, like myself, kept strange business hours and could meet up over coffee. With Kelsey, a wonderful Wisconsin gal, I explored my back-streets and Ortakoy during her afternoon breaks from nannying. We decorated eggs on Easter Sunday and tasted local street food like midye (stuffed mussels - divine but ), simit (Turkish attempt at a bagel), Dondurma (stretchy ice cream), and traditional faves such as baklava and Turkish Delight. I met Emre at one of the many local coffee shops, a creative and excitable interior designer, who took me to some great local jazz clubs in town, and hidden gems for cheap beer and food. Occasionally, I lunched with Gill and her work colleagues, and made evening trips to the bazaar with my friend Nick, a Canadian. We smoked hookah in Tophane and drank beers in Sultanahmet. Various visitors came through and I could always find a friend to stop into the Istanbul Modern or Pera Museum with - Gillian's brother Edward came for ten days, and I and was visited for a week by HarryRolf, a wonderful Swiss gent I met in Gokarna, India and traveled with to Chennai. We wandered through Besiktas and stopped for beers in Nevizade. With pub quizzes, movie nights and meyhanes (the Turkish equivalent of Tapas, which always includes and excess of Raki) every week and I found myself seeking a night off more often than lacking something to do.
Finding a job was a harder nut to crack. I made a promise to myself before arriving in Turkey that I would find a something that might enhance my future career. I wanted to do something different, something I hadn't tried before. However, this did not include teaching English or nannying, easy opportunities for native English speakers in Istanbul. I soon realized that it was practically impossible to find out what was out there. I'd have to be very proactive and began emailing furiously anyone who might have a remote idea of what was available. I went out to lunch with Chrissy, who I met at a PAWI dinner and currently works as the Advertising Director for an English and Turkish luxury goods publication, Cornucopia. This sounded like a dream job, and I wanted to know how she'd found it. She was very honest with me: finding a great position here takes time, patience and perseverance. You don't have resources such as Monster.com or Craigslist that provide ample opportunities to see what's on the market. Furthermore, people aren't just going to hand you a job based on a stellar resume. You need to be in the right place at the right time. And luckily, I was.
In my first few weeks was very, very fortunate to meet Garth, who "funded my drinking habit" (as he so aptly put it) by giving me menial tasks that I had difficulty performing in a timely manner (probably a result of a seven month "deadline hiatus"). His interesting company, CoCCA (Council of Country Code Administration), provides domain names (such as .us or .gov) for small and oftentimes corrupt countries including Palestine, Afghanistan and Somalia. Together we took over the various cafes in the neighborhood, gossiping about the cute barista and/or cannibals in East Africa. And occasionally did a bit of work on the side. It really was a case of knowing the right person at the right time. And he was a fascinating companion, who had traveled the world rarely living in one place for long. As an avid sailor, he toured the world on the race circuit and briefly coached the Belarusian Olympic Sailing team. He got into the dot-com business as it began to boom, and has been successful with his business which gives him the opportunity to travel constantly. His wanderlust is incredible.
As my money dwindled I began to realize that this good fortune couldn't last forever and I couldn't expect Garth to pay me for companionship. I enjoyed him too much as a friend. I was losing hope when I received an email from one of Gill's co-workers, Sean. He forwarded on a job posting from a local ex-pat forum for an boat insurance company in Kadikoy (the ASIAN SIDE!!), and the day before I was supposed to fly out of Istanbul for the states for a whirlwind trip home, I interviewed and was offered a job. I even got a few days practice because my flight was delayed due to the "Volcano of Doom." I could breathe a sigh of relief to know that I'd be able to come back from my trip home with a job, an apartment, wonderful friends and summer right around the corner.
I left Istanbul for New York six days after my anticipated departure date. Initially, I was connecting in Amsterdam with KLM, but I had finagled a direct flight home with Delta, and my extended week in the city was fun-filled though I was devastated to miss my dear friend Helen's wedding. I was in the midst of my last-minute packing I had a sudden realization I'd misplaced my American passport, which contained my Turkish visa. The situation could have been dramatically worse if I wasn't a dual citizen and always carry two passports (British and American), but it was a situation of utter panic. I wasn't sure I'd be able to leave the country, since they had no proof that I'd entered legally. I arrived at the airport several hours in advance so that I could plead and beg with anyone and everyone to get home. I did so with practically all Delta and KLM staff, as well as several Turkish customs and security people, one of whom warned me "there's probably a fifty percent chance you won't get on your flight today." My heart sank. But I was lucky, and a little man came scuttling back with a photocopy of my American passport, confirming that I did in fact have a Turkish visa and could therefore leave the country. I breathed a sigh of relief. Things only got better when I arrived for the final security screening for the flight, as I recognized a familiar face in the crowd; my friend Geoff from the American Consulate was on his way back to Washington, and we sat together on the flight home. It turned into a very drunken (and consequently very quick) cross-Atlantic voyage and I realized as I deplaned (with a raging hangover, I cannot deny) that I was actually quite settled in Istanbul. Settled so much that I had been careless enough to misplace my passport (which I recently found... safely stowed in the kitchen). This was something I would never have done while I was on the road. Settled enough to recognize someone on my flight to the states - an unlikely event on my trains through India or busses in the Syria. Settled enough to have a job, an apartment, and good friends. Settled enough to be look forward to going back again... Back home to Turkey.